I had a great idea form in my head whilst I was passed out beneath some bushes. TOLLBOOTHS! I can put a few tollbooths around town. The first one will go on the overpass leading to HSU! This will ensure a steady stream of beer money for us homeless.We shall also arm ourselves with dogs trained to take down people who refuse to pay the toll and if the people get bit its their fault not ours because they violated the terms of our Tollbooth policy which clearly will state that "if you try to avoid paying the toll your safety cannot be assured".
How much will we homeless charge? With a student ID the fee will be $10. Without a student ID it will be $5. This will help insure equality and honesty from tollbooth patrons.
What if someone is a student and refuses to show student ID? The terms of use in regards to tollbooths will be a mandatory search of backpacks, purses, pockets, shos. and even body cavities if we feel you are hiding your student ID or any money that rightfully belongs to us. Also as per terms of our policy, any edible food, drugs (legal or illegal), pawnable jewelry or other such merchandise will be confiscated and become the property of Humboldt Tollbridge Co.
I'll tell you about implementation later, its a warm day and there's nothing I love to do more on a warm day than ride the AMRT's busses all day long and oogle the young women in their shorts.
8 comments:
That's ogle, Nickazoid. Not "oogle."
And today is a cold day in Humboldt County. But of course you wouldn't know that, being in Nebraska.
It was warm on the 7th and I had a great deal of fun ogling the young women. I even followed one to her apt complex before I finally asked her for change. She gave me $1, then I asked her for her number and she wrote it for me. It's 707-555-5555.
and it's buses not busses.
How about a troll booth where unoriginal frauds and impersonator-trolls like "Plazoid" are charged for their annoying lack of originality and failure to muster a shred of common decency.
An extra toll could be levied for orthographic failures such as "oogle."
Homeless people do not have to know how to spell.
Also, I assure you I and other homeless people are quite real. Stuff some money in your wallet then walk through some back alley's late at night and we'll show you just how real we are.
This was just posted on the original Plazoid site. See if he lets it through:
Hey Anne, or Plazoid dude,
Why do you filter out the truth? Can't handle it?
Why don't you explain your refusal to care for yourself, and how you cry for handouts all the time?
You and Tad always have money for cigarettes, dog food and to make little hate-pamphlets, because the workers of Arcata support you. They think they're helping people down on their luck. Suckers!
How do you justify sucking up food intended for women and children, Mr. helpless grown man?
I'm posting this on the Plazoid blog so people can read what you censor because you can't handle the truth.
Hey now, just because people hate me for murdering someone doesn't mean they hate all cops. I appreciate my fellow tribe members coming to my defense but it is entirely innappropriate. It's true that police departments are run like small tribes in that whatever one cop goes through they claim the whole dept (tribe) has gone through it. Or when one cop is insulted the whole dept (tribe) is insulted.
However, following that type of reasoning let's take it to its conclusion. When someone has a problem with a specific cop they are called a cop hater. Does that mean if someone has a problem with a hotel clerk they're a hotel clerk hater? Or how bout someone who has a problem with a waitress? Are they a waitress hater? What about Barber haters? Cashier haters? Mailman haters? Fast food employee haters? and so on.
Also consider that in cops claiming that someone is attacking the tribe via criticizing one bad cop, it can be concluded that cops desire minority status. How many times does one see in the media about a bad thing happening to one black or one woman or one homosexual, and it being said that it happened to ALL blacks or ALL women or ALL homosexuals?
What I did was unforgiveable. I am an independant human being and I do not need my "tribe" coming to my defense.
Hi, there. I'm a fellow blogger who am helping to hand out the holiday gift of an inaugural award called the "A Hoy" award. Your blog has been chosen for being hopeful and just plain wonderful. For more information about the award go to http://threegoldsinonetournament.blogspot.com.
Basically, you can feel free to post the award to your blog and then pick at least two blogs of your choice for the award. Congratulations. Tracy Wilson-Tucker
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